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My name is Jennifer. My testimony is partly that I am a child of divorce, which God hates (Malachi 2:16). This heart-rending circumstance in my life has not only affected me, but my husband, our children, my view of this dark ole world, which is not my home (Praise be to God!) My children will never know the unity of family outside of our own little clan. Divorce hardens the heart of all involved so that you know without a shadow of a doubt that God alone is the One Who saves you from its ravage! My parents over 30 years later are still some of the most selfish people I know.
I was addicted to pornography and trash romance novels (same thing as porn) and all manner of licentious pursuits as a young woman. I was very angry at my parents for years. After our Lord blessed me with the most perfect husband Jennifer could have, we received the first child, Grayson, 9 months after our wedding date. The second, our girl Devin Leigh, was born 17 1/2 months afterwards. Needless to say, I was overwhelmed with all their needs; yet I continued to consume my porn and read my novels. I would sneak sleazy movies while my precious husband was at work, for he did not approve of my "habit." Tracy, however, had no problem with my consumption of trash romance novels; he only saw those as entertainment.
One day, a sister in our Lord handed me a copy of a Bible study on King David.
You need to know that I have been a regular church attender and very involved in serving the body for all of my days on this earth. However, my parents' divorce helped me to divorce myself from my own responsibility for sin against my precious Savior. My heart was hardened against Him. For all of my life I have been involved in one Bible study or religious activity or another. Actively. Until the time I began that study, "A Heart Like His" by Beth Moore, I believed that St. Paul was a religious fanatic, charismatic Christians were not to be emulated and not everything that God put in the Bible was true for modern times.
Since I was unable to attend the Ladies Bible study each week for childcare issues, I began the workbook on my own. Two weeks into it I was reading one of my trash novels on chair with my newborn girl beside me in her bouncy seat; Grayson aged 19 mos. was on the floor at play. A wave of utter revulsion and disgust came over me "like nobody's business," as we say in the South. I took out my Catholic Bible and wrote the following:
"A covenant with God: On 12 February 2000, I threw away all of my trash romance novels. I want to seek God in my reading from this day forward. These phrases are the sign of my covenant.
Jennifer"
I then went throughout my house and threw away over 200 books. Into the city dump they went. He has remained faithful to keep me to this covenant for over 8 years now, and I magnify His holy name because He is so worthy!
The fun and entertainment of my nasty ole sins has been incomparable to the joy I have in Christ Jesus my Rock and my Redeemer. 1 Thessalonians 5:19! |
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